Dancing With The Stars: Wk 3

Posted By: Bridget On: October 7, 2008 Comments: ( 2 )

By: Bridget




Misty May-Treanor is going to bow out this week.  I am sure of it.  I hate it, but I am sure of it.  The show opens with some over-dramatic footage of her ankle injury at rehearsal.  DWTS never disappoints when it comes to milking any drama or injury for all it is worth.  Samantha Harris has a perm.  That is not a good thing.

Dancer introductions, let’s see how the gang looks tonight.  Julianne Hough is wearing a wig.  Rocco DiSpirito is wearing the puffy shirt from Seinfeld.  Toni Braxton looks, well ridiculous in some sort of Marie Antoinette get-up.  Lacey Schwimmer and Lance Bass look fabulous in slate gray.  Ooh, no Misty May-Treanor in the line up.  Sad things are afoot.  Figures, they are going to wait until all nine couples dance before they tell us about Misty…nice.

Susan “crazy breasts” Lucci and Tony Dovolani are going to dance first doing the Jive.  I love the Jive.  Tony takes her to see The Rockettes to practice her kicks.  We’ll see them again this season, no doubt.  They have super cute costumes on tonight, all glittery and polka dotted.  The Jive suits Susan Lucci fairly well.  It often seems like Tony does not let his celebs take enough risks, always adequate and cute but never quite far enough to get the big score.  The choreography is fun and flirty, but I have seen much better Jives on this show.  Len says that they did a very good job.  Bruno liked the look and keeps looking at her giant fake hooters.  Bruno did not think her footwork was perfect but said she was on her way.  Carrie disagreed with Bruno on the feet but called her a little timid.  No one with boobs that far up and out can be called timid, seriously.  Three 7’s for 21.  I guess that is ok.

Carrie Ann Inaba’s hairstyle tonight makes her look like a drag queen.

Second on the dance card are Lance “crazy gay” Bass and Lacey Schwimmer doing the Viennese Waltz.  They really need to pull off a classic waltz here, let’s see if they have it in them.  They are going for traditional, I’m interested to see if Lacey can be elegant.  Oh jeez, they test their dance at a senior center, gag.  Lance and Lacey start out with solid posture and lovely arms.  They are twirling around the floor, trying maybe a little to hard to be graceful.  Lacey Schwimmer is showing off her dancing chops, for those of you out there who had doubts…you know who you are.  Ok, I’ll admit this was nice but not great.   I think they should get some kudos from Len for trying to be traditional.  Bruno said it looked a little labored and lacked some of their personality.  Carrie thought it was fantastic and loved that Lance Bass was dancing instead of just gliding around while Lacey did all the work.  Len slams them for poor posture and holds but said they had great musicality and their best dance yet!  Woo hoo!  Two 7’s and an 8 from Carrie, cool.

Third couple up are Maurice “crazy attitude” Greene and Cheryl Burke doing the Jive.  They take a field trip to what appears to be a high school football field…ummm..what?  This is getting tedious, you all know how I hate to be bored.  They open with Maurice flailing Cheryl around the stage erratically.  He settles down a little bit after the initial craziness though and their Jive is good.  He is almost moving too fast or something, I don’t know it seems frantic.  For Cheryl’s part the choreography is great, but I don’t think they nailed this one at all.  Carrie called him a wild untamed beast, but she loved it.  Len also loved the choreography and called it their best dance.  Bruno loved the pace and the energy too.  Hmm…guess I was watching something else.  Three 8’s for a 24.

Rocco “crazy boring” DiSpirito and Karina Smirnoff are doing the Viennese Waltz next.  Karina blinds him to prove some point, I’m not sure what it is.  Rocco begins the dance with a blindfold on, this is nutso.  Karina is wearing the worst dress ever.  It looks like a zebra threw up Pepto Bismol.  I definitely saw a lift there in the beginning, yeah…ah…Karina, you’re the professional try to keep your feet on the ground.  I don’t get this dance.  It was bouncy and all but sure did not feel like a Viennese Waltz to me.  Rocco put some funky glasses on Len, which he kept on during his critique.  Len liked it but thought Rocco rushed it at some points.  Bruno thought they should have kept the blindfold on, that Rocco lost the musicality.  I agree with Bruno.  Carrie disagreed with Bruno and claimed that Karina kept her foot on the ground.  Carrie is really annoying me this season.

Ha!  Tom Bergeron called the show a popularity contest with sequins.  I love Tom. Two 7’s and a 6 from Bruno, the only sane judge.  Samantha Harris tries to interview Rocco about Misty’s injury…she sounds like  an fifth grader giving a science fair presentation.

Warren “crazy eyes” Sapp and Kym Johnson are doing the Viennese Waltz.  This ought to be interesting.  He is pretty goofy, he could hardly be serious for the Paso Doble I wonder if he can be romantic for this.  Warren is wearing what is possibly the worst suit ever.  He looks like he works at McDonald’s in the 1970’s.  Not horrible, I like the choreography an awful lot.  Although, I think some of the steps for Warren are a bit on the feminine side.  It was good, possibly great.  Bruno calls it big, smooth, and beautiful.  Carrie says she thinks she has a crush on him and was swept off her feet.  (Seriously, she looks awful tonight, does she not have any friends on the crew to say, umm you look like a man?)  Len gave it lots of love.  Ooh, a big 9 from Carrie and 8’s from the guys.   He is kind of funny and cute backstage, I’m sure it is an act.

Next to dance are Cody “crazy child” Linley and Julianne Hough.   They are going to do the Jive, but first they have to stop at ABC-owned Disney World to plug Hannah Montana.  This is the Jive I have been waiting for!  Leave it to Julianne Hough.  Fast, fun, and a little bit rock and roll.  Love it , love all of it, I already know this is my favorite dance of the night.  One of them lost something mid dance, I don’t know if it is a piece of clothing or a mic or what, that could be very dangerous.  Carrie is annoyed that Cody was talking the choreography throughout the dance.  That did not bother the more normal thinking Len, but he called the choreography repetitious.  It was Julianne’s earring that flew off.  Bruno agreed with Len.  I guess this was not the winner for them like it was for me.

Yeah, the Rockettes are going to be on tomorrow.  Does ABC think we are too stupid to connect the dots on this one?  Three 7’s for 21.  Cloris tells Cody to speak in a deeper voice, so far the funniest part of the show.

Toni “crazy naked” Braxton and Alec Mazo dance next doing the Viennese Waltz.  We get some unpleasant butt shots of Toni attempting a hand stand, ick.  I am 100% certain she will strip off half of her costume somewhere in this dance.  All those clothes are so constricting.  The music choice is odd.  The waltz is decent, I am finding it hard to focus on anything other than the hideous costumes.  She kept her clothes on too, that is a nice change of pace.  Len did not enjoy it, he said it was too much gimmick and props.  Bruno agreed that it was overproduced.  Carrie said she liked it and “I got it.”  Whatever.  Carrie gives it an 8, like the nutjob she is, the guys give it 7’s.

Cloris “crazy in general” Leachman and Corky Ballas are going to attempt the Jive.  I can’t imagine how this is going to look.  I’m not sure I want to!  This is acting, not dancing.  Maybe a little bit of dancing, mostly on Corky’s part.  Oh man, Corky stole Cloris’ wig and threw it at the judges.  This is weirdness.  This is not dancing.  I love her, she’s very funny, but this is not dancing.  Standing ovation. got to love that!  Cloris tells the judges she just wants 1’s!!  Bruno says it is beyond comprehension.  Carrie said they got crazy Cloris liked they asked.  Len said something that was nothing.  Carrie gives them a 6, Bruno and Len settle on 5’s.

Last to dance are Brooke “crazy nobody” Burke and Derek Hough.  They show Brooke and Derek getting into a little fight.  For the record, Derek is being a condescending jerk.  Probably because he is one.  Lovely, lovely, lovely.  What else can I say about this?  Brooke is pretty amazing, I find it hard to believe she does not have some dance training previous to DWTS.  The whole thing is romantic and ends with Brooke kissing her daughter, love that.  Nothing like using your children for publicity purposes.  Carrie says Brooke is rapidly becoming her favorite.  Len called it the best dance of the season.  Bruno showered it with love.  WOW!  A 10 from Len!! Two 9’s from Bruno & Carrie.  She could go all the way!

Finally Misty May-Treanor appears.  On crutches, yikes.  Of course they show the rehearsal footage again.  They say the loud crack that we heard is her injury.  Poor Misty, they show her crying in pain.  She ruptured her achilles tendon.  DWTS even showed the X-ray, like we needed that.  It’s official Misty May-Treanor is out for the season.  She will have surgery tomorrow and plans to take some time off and then return to beach volleyball.  Maksim Chmerkovskiy joins her and she says nice things about him.  He returns the favor and stumbles a little bit in a cute way.  Montage time.  Now they are dragging the farewell out too much.

My favorite dance of the night was Cody Linley and Julianne Hough.  My least was, sadly, Cloris Leachman and Corky Ballas, did I mention that it was not dancing?