DWTS Season 7 Premiere!!

Posted By: Bridget On: September 23, 2008 Comments: ( 3 )

By: Bridget




This is a big night folks!  The evening we have all been counting down to, right?  I love that they are kicking off the season with a big extravaganza, three nights, two dances, two first losers!  Woo hoo.  Tom Bergeron & Samantha Harris welcome us, Samantha does not look silly for once.  The couples enter, Cody Linley & Julianne Hough are channeling the 20’s.  Rocco DiSpirito looks debonair but uncomfortable & Karina Smirnoff is wearing an odd costume that makes her look like a dominatrix.  (I bet she is one!)  Toni Braxton is naked as usual, Brooke Burke looks very hot and Lacey Schwimmer & Lance Bass look very rock & roll.  Poor Cloris Leachman can hardly make it down the stairs!  Jeffrey Ross is wearing a silly eye patch.  Warren Sapp and Kym Johnson enter…holy hooters!!  Were those that big last season???  I don’t think so!  Everyone looks a little bit nervous.  Did I mention that Mark Ballas is wearing a pink dinner jacket and white gloves, yeah you read that right-weirdness.

First to dance are Cody Linley & Julianne Hough.  They show a little clip of Hannah Montana & Cody beatboxing…puke.  This little boy has a crush on Julianne, I am pretty sure he has no chance.  This Cha Cha Cha is pretty nice.  It seems like it is moving a little slow for me and they don’t have much chemistry.  Pretty boring overall, for me anyway. Len calls is confident, high energy dancing.  Bruno says something unintelligible, then says he was technically not fluid.  Carrie Ann Inaba says they have potential and babbles a little annoyingly.  They score three 6’s for a total of 18.

Rocco DiSpirito and Karina Smirnoff are up next.  I am dying to see if Chef DiSpirito can dance, I have doubts.  Apparently Karina injured her ankle this morning but the show must go on!  They will do the Foxtrot & Rocco is cracking up before the music even begins.  Ooh, they are dancing to the “Stray Cat Strut” very cool.  The dance is ok, I’m not a fan of Rocco’s empty pocket’s schtick, it was distracting.  He looks uncomfortable and is either singing along or counting.  This was not good, I think they ended in a bit of a mess.  Bruno called it a Foxtrot on the brink of chaos.  Carri thought it was “cute”  she’s already annoying me.  Len said it lacked any finesse.  I agree with the guys, but I think Carrie was watching another dance. Two 5’s and a 4 from Len.  Wow, has a 4 ever been given before?

Toni Braxton is up next.  I be she refuses to wear any clothes that cover her belly.  Her partner is season one winner Alec Mazo.  He’s hot stuff.  They will do the Cha Cha Cha, to that Santana song “Smooth.”  There is plenty of heat in the beginning of the performance, Toni can move!  They are a great couple and the choreography is great.  Standing ovation, this couple is going to go far.  Carrie Ann Inaba starts off the judging by saying it was like a week 5 performance.  Len said Toni’s knees were too flexed and Bruno calls her a diva and hits Len in the face in his enthusiasm.  Two 7’s and an 8 for a total of 22, deserved for this performance.

Tom Bergeron makes a funny.  I love him.

Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke are up next.  Cheryl looks like she is putting on a couple of pounds, yikes.  Maurice seems like he has a nice personality and I’m betting he has some rhythm too.  They are dancing the Foxtrot and I was correct, Maurice Greene can shake it.  However, when they move to the slow bits he looks uncomfortable, that will hurt him in some of the ballroom stuff.  The choreography is cute though and works well for them on this first night. Len called it wild, wacky, & wonderful.  Bruno calls Maurice out for the holds, I concur.  Carrie said the part that was Foxtrot in the dance was stiff, again I concur.  Three 6’s for a total of 18, no surprise there.

Brooke Burke, who I still don’t know, and Derek Hough are dancing next.  I’m betting she will be good and the dance will be so hot that little Miss Shannon Elizabeth will bum rush the stage and start a huge catfight.  Now that would be good TV!  Brooke has four children, I can empathize with that.  They are also doing the Cha Cha Cha, I expect a knockout, so far it is just average.  I don’t know why they would put a hot chick like her in bell bottom pants instead of a cutesy little skirt.  She & Derek have no chemistry at all.  The choreography is boring, I’m sort of stunned that this was not more exciting.  Carrie gushing about how great she was, Bruno agrees-maybe I was seeing something different.  Len calls it the best dance so far, really?!?!  Two 8’s and a 7 from Carrie, wow.

Ted McGinley and new professional Inna Brayer are next.  Ted McGinley is funny and endearing already, he’ll score some points with the old ladies.  They are doing the Foxtrot and it starts out lovely.  Ted has nice posture, but gets a little messed up in the first break.  He has a great smile all the way through and the choreography is cute.  Bruno calls him both Carey Grant and Steve Carell.  Len said it was suave and sophisticated and the footwork was great.  Carrie babbled.  Three 6’s for another 18.  I personally think they deserved more.

Lance Bass & Lacey Schwimmer are doing their thing next.  I am equally excited to see if Lance can dance as I am to see if Lacey can choreograph ballroom.  She is not our typical professional is she?  Lacey could not be any less like Julianne or Kym if she tried.  They do the Cha Cha Cha and it is fast paced and rockin’.  They actually have chemistry and are having fun, I wonder if the judges will be able to accept this kind of ballroom dancing.  They sort of look like they are both celebs rather than one being a professional, that is probably not good.  Len said what they did “they did well” but that he was old fashioned.  Carrie called it hot, hot, hot.  Bruno called it edgy and spanking?  Yes, I think he said spanking-weird.  Lacey made a gay joke, it was cute.  Two 8’s and a 6 from Len for a total of 22.

Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas are up next.  Cloris is 82 and a firecracker.  I love her, now let’s see if she can dance.  They do the Foxtrot, which should suit her well.  Well, she dances like a spunky 82 year old, her kicks are comically small.  But the dance is nice and they manage to get through it with grace.  I think it’s pretty great, but she has little to no chance of winning against all these young people.  She gets a standing ovation and does the funniest bow I have ever seen in my life.  When Bruno critiques her she puts her leg up on the table and he kisses it!!  Then she kneels in front of Len and ignores what he has to say.  Len tells her to mind her cleavage, he says it is his chance to be a boytoy!  Cloris sits on Carrie’s lap.  I did not catch much of what the judges were saying over Tom Bergeron’s uncontrollable laughter.  The whole crew is cheering backstage.  She gets a six from Carrie and 5’s from the guys, I think she calls Carrie a shit!!  How funny!!

Jeffrey Ross & Edyta Slwinska are up next.  Jeffrey was also injured today when Edyta poke him in the eye and scratched his retina.  He’s a pretty funny guy and brings Edyta flowers on their first rehearsal.  Like most of these comedians he comes off as a nice guy.  They do the Cha Cha Cha, Edyta is naked.  They are dancing to “BrickHouse” one of my favorite songs of all time.  Jeffery has no rhythm, and looks like he is stuffed into his polyester pants.  They do some little funny bits, but it was really not good at all.  He is not wearing the eye patch, weird.  Carrie slams him, he honestly looks like his feelings were hurt.  Bruno calls it ungodly carnage. Len says something lame about everyone being a winner.  Poor Jeffrey, he’s sad.  Three 4’s for a total of 12-is that the lowest score ever?

Kim Kardashian & Mark Ballas are up now.  I hate her.  I hate females who play dumb because they think it is cute.  They do the Foxtrot to the “Pink Panther” which explains Mark’s ridiculous costume.  This is so boring  I could die.  Seriously, I kept waiting for them to start dancing.  Len said it was cold and there was no chemistry between them.  Bruno said she did not connect with the audience.  Carrie said she held her neck to stiff.  Ms. Big Butt and Mark get two 6’s and a 7 from Len, whatever.

Susan Lucci, my pick for the winner of this season, and Tony Dovolani are up next.  They will do the Cha Cha Cha and I bet it will be fabulous!  Susan looks determined, she know eveyone has high hopes for her.  I think she flubs a step in the beginning but manges ot get back on track. She and Tony look great together, she is so tiny!!  Bruno said she was not slutty enough and called her out for losing her footing  a couple of times.  Carrie calls Susan frail looking, Len said it was too careful.  I think we have to give Tony a little bit of blame for the choreography-he has a hard time with steamy I think.  Three 5’s for a 15, I’m not worried.

Misty May-Treanor & Maksim Chmerkovsky are up second to last.  I love that her beach volleyball partner Kari Walsh is in the audience.  Misty is nervous and it shows.  She starts off pretty good though and has some moments where she plays to the audience.  I think there was maybe not enough content in the dance, but it was good overall.  Carrie called it powerful.  Len said it was elegant and really good.  Bruno said her weight was not in the right place in some of the turns.  Wow, Misty towers over Samantha Harris.  A 6 from Carrie, an 8 from Len, and a 7 from Bruno, nice.

Last up is Warren Sapp and Kym Johnson.  I know we have had a lot of success with football players, but none of them were as big as this guy.  Wow, he’s a big dude.  Kym forgot to put on her skirt before she went onstage.  Warren Sapp has some rhythm, but is overzealous and nearly drops Kym during a between the legs move.  He kept bumping into her, obviously more concerned with how he looks than with how he and his partner look together.  Ego anyone?  All the judges love it, gush, gush, gush.  7’s across the board.

I think poor Jeffrey Ross is going home first.  That’s sad.