DWTS: Season Premiere Part II

Posted By: Bridget On: September 24, 2008 Comments: ( 0 )

By: Bridget




I have to say, that I am almost dreading another long night. Five hours of programming in just one week is way too much. I love the show, but tonight I might doze off…feel free to wake me.

Ooh, we do start out with a bang though with my new boyfriend, Helio Castroneves in the audience. I love him, still. Oh Jeez, we are going to go through the whole, who is safe deal before they just tell us who is out. Again, I am dreading the hour long results shows.

So, are we going to see who is safe and then see them dance? That will be weird in the end. Anyway, Lance Bass & Lacey Schwimmer are safe. They are cute in rehearsal but Lacey dresses like Punky Brewster on crack. Their dance is the Quickstep, I’m actually looking forward to it, they should be able to nail this one. I think Lacey started off on Helio’s lap that lucky girl!!! Yes, this is great! Young and fresh but with all of the traditional Quickstep holds and footwork. Lance is a natural and Lacey is growing on me. There is still a little bit of roughness to her that we don’t see in the likes of Edyta and Karina, but it is growing on me. Len did not like there posture or their holds. Bruno said it was a fresh take and the timing was good. Carrie was entertained but not impressed, whatever that means. The score is a 21 with a 7 from Carrie, a 6 from Len, and a whopping 8 from Bruno. Neat!

Next to dance and safe for tonight are Misty May-Treanor and Maksim Chmerkovsky. No big surprise there. Misty is trying to be sexy, she is uncomfortable with it for reasons that escape me. Ummm, Misty the whole world sees you in a bikini on a regular basis. They are doing the Mambo so she will need to sex it up. Her hip action is great, I love seeing a muscular healthy woman looking so hot on the dance floor! Yay for the sporty chicks. The dance was fun, but Maksim seemed to be MIA for most of it, isn’t this couples dancing? Carrie loved it. Len thought all the solo work was brave. Bruno complained about the tightness in her shoulders, but in a nice constructive way. She seriously makes Samantha Harris look like a little kid. Samantha’s hairpiece is out of control tonight, by the way. Three 7’s for a total of 21.

The third couple to dance is Maurice Graham and Cheryl Burke. I am not going to comment on the little rehearsal bits unless they are especially endearing, they have grown tiresome. This Mambo is fierce! Maurice & Cheryl look like Solid Gold dancers in their shimmery outfits and the choreography is super fun. Cheryl Burke might be the best choreographer on the show. A-mazing. Bruno loved it saying it was like being at a party. Carrie thought the transitions were smooth and loved his musicality. Len loved all but the “free willy” step, oh Len you are so old fashioned!

Yay, Helio Castroneves gets introduced. And Kristi Yamaguchi too, but enough about her-doesn’t my new boyfriend look great!?

Cheryl & Maurice also get three 7’s for 21.

The fourth couple is Brooke Burke and Derek Hough. Now I have to comment, Derek taught Brooke the dance by telling her to “keep her boobies” off of him. How funny. They are doing the Quickstep. It is elegant, Brooke looks amazing. They are doing everything right, Bruno is up off his feet I think in amazement at how perfect the performance is! Tom Bergeron knows this is in the bag. Len says again, best dance so far. Bruno says “SENSATIONAL.” Carrie is equally amazed calling tonight fantastic. They really deserve a big score, I hope the judges give it to them even though it is only the second night. Yes! two 9’s and an 8 from Len. Pretty impressive for only night number two, I hope she has the fan base to pull out a win!

The next safe couple is YAY, Cloris Leachman and Corky Ballas. Love it!! She is hysterical! They are doing the Mambo, I can’t wait to see her get sexy. I really love how much fun she is having. Oh boy, they have her all dressed up like a golden Chiquita banana. The dance may not be great ballroom, but it is easily the most fun, best acted Mambo we have ever seen on the DWTS stage. Seriously, it is nearly sensor-able! For an 82 year old lady she can actually move and gets another standing ovation. Carrie gave them points for entertainment. Len says that Corky gets some credit for choreography. Cloris tells Bruno to “speak English.” So funny…whew. Who cares about the rest of the show, let’s just do two hours of Cloris! Carrie gives them a 6 and Cloris calls her a bitch! I can’t tell what she calls Len & Bruno for their 5’s.

The couple who is also safe is Toni Braxton and Alec Mazo. Toni is very excited, she really wants to win this competition. I think it is because she knows her career is in the crapper. They are doing the Quickstep. Toni’s dress is a lovely blue that really looks great on her. It is a good Quickstep. She messed something up though and actually apologized to him mid-dance. That can’t be good. Bruno called it elegant but that her hold went a little bit off at the end. Carrie said she had a lot of natural quality to her movements. Len liked it but said she had a funny head and footwork at some points. They get two 8’s and a 7 from Len for a 23. I guess…

Warren Sapp and Kym Johnson are safe next. They will do the Quickstep too. I anticipate this one being a bit difficult for Mr. Sapp. Kym remembered her skirt tonight, that’s nice. Ooh, I was wrong, Warren Sapp is having no problems with the Quickstep. This is very good and Kym deserves an award for the choreography. Nice. Len said it was entertaining but did not think there was great technique. Warren looked like he wanted to punch him in the face. Bruno, on the other hand loved it. Carrie said he did not miss a step, but the footwork was a little off. Those two phrases don’t make sense together.Two 7’s and an 8 from Bruno.

They cut to some dumb David Blaine thing. I don’t care. I hate magic.

Next safe couple is Ted McGinley and Inna Brayer doing the Mambo. I like it. Ted McGinley is not even close to the best dancer on the show, but they look great together. Lots of fun footwork and he is acting like he is the king of the dance floor. Carrie said that he did a lot of moves in the dance but that there is a bit of awkwardness in the way he moves. Len called it a commendable Mambo. Bruno said something weird, but then said he needed to listen to the music better. Inna has an oddly large bellybutton, is it weird that I noticed that? Two 6’s and a 7 from Bruno.

Cody Linley and Julianne Hough are also safe, not a surprise. They are doing the Quickstep to “I Want You To Want Me” one of the greatest Cheap Trick songs ever, I can’t believe how the DWTS band is slaughtering it. Sorry I was too focused on the song to note the dance. It looks good though. Their young, she’s hot…yada, yada, yada. Bruno calls them King & Queen of the prom and tells Cody he needs some more control. Carrie and Len liked it. Cody has nothing interesting to say and that is hard to do in comparison to what little Samantha Harris has to say. Two 8’s and a 7 from Len…I’m not sure it was all that.

Rocco DiSpirito and Karina Smirnoff are also safe. I would love it if Kim Kardashian got voted off first, but I still think it will be Jeffrey Ross. OK, on to the Mambo by Rocco and Karina. They begin with a Karina solo, interesting choice. Rocco comes out and attempts to look like a dance, but he is kind of a one trick pony. Great at sexy looks and some minor hip action, otherwise he just struts around the stage. I think he winds up next to his mother. Len says it was much better than last night. Bruno also loved it. Carrie said it was super-sexy. I really don’t know what I’m talking about I guess…maybe they’ll get a 30. Three 7’s for a 21, wow.

I’m eating ice cream now to help me stay awake. This show is unbearably long.

Next to dance is Susan Lucci and Tony Dovolani. I typed that before they announced it, as if there was any chance she would be the first one out. Tony looks tired in rehearsals, it’s those twins. I feel your pain buddy. They are doing the Quickstep, this will be a great dance for her. Tony looks amazing right now, I love love love his costume. Susan Lucci is elegant and the footwork is nice all the way through. Carrie called it a big improvement over last night. Len agreed with Carrie and Bruno called her glamorous, classy, and elegant. Tom tries to cut Bruno off, hello this is a live show! They score two 7’s and an 8 from Bruno.

The couple making the first exit is Jeffrey Ross & Edyta Sliwinska. I am sad that he is the first to go. Jeff’s family is all wearing eye patches, very funny. Jeffrey is impish and sweet, I so wish annoying Kim Kardashian was the one going home.

Kim Kardashian and Mark Ballas are going to dance again, which means we have to hear her talk some more…great. Her a$$ is ridiculously huge. And they are dancing to the Big Butt song, they just had to go there didn’t they. I think the dance is pretty horrible. Kim is just bad, see girls having a sex tape and appearing in playboy will not get you anywhere in life. Yuck. Bruno says she is gorgeous but she drives him crazy. He calls her wasted assets. Len says she did not sizzle and even criticized Mark’s choreography, I agree it was bad. Carrie gives her a little credit, playing good cop. Kim is almost in tears, no, I don’t care. Three 6’s for an 18. I don’t think she deserved that at all.

OK, so my favorite dance was Brooke Burke and Derek Hough. My least was Kim Kardashian and Mark Ballas, I think they just might go home. A girl can hope right?