The Joker is Gone - Sexy Week DWTS Wk. 5

Posted By: admin On: April 15, 2008 Comments: ( 2 )

By: Alyssa 




Hard to believe it is week 5, but it is. The Joker is gone aka Adam Carolla. We get to see a recap of him leaving. He says “I lose 25lbs. of fat and gain 105lbs of angel. I love this girl” referring to Julianne Hough. Aww, how sweet Adam is. Latin night (Rumbas and Sambas) is here according to Samantha Harris which means we should be treated to raunchy, sexy hip action. yayy!

First impressions - Where’s Julianne? It just isn’t the same without her here - boo! Jason Taylor looks hot in his whitish outfit. It really compliments his skin tone. Cheryl Burke and Cristian de la Fuente remind me from something out of gem and the holograms - they’ve got this irridescent thing going on with some orangy pink outfits. I actually like it though. Mario has suspenders. Marissa is in purple and Priscilla in this net thing. Kristi looks elegant in violet and Shannon Elizabeth looks like she belongs in a Chiquita Banana commercial. Oh and Marlee Matlin has some orange fringe, but nothing worth mentioning.

Being older than Len’s underpants, Mario and Karina Smirnoff are up first dancing the Samba. Karina called him ‘poopie’ as in “are you ok, poopie”. He said he wasn’t feeling it today so they go into the studio and talk to Stevie Wonder. Stevie told him to let his spirit dance. Mario says he now has his swagger back. Let’s hope he brings that swagger with him to the dance floor. My, Karina is majorly tan and her behind is showing lots in that big bird yellow outfit. It has lots of hip action and I think he came out not so rough and tough this dance. I think Len might be pleased that he left the toughness out of this dance. Len is clapping so we’ll see.

Len stars off calling him ‘poopie’ and makes fun. Tom Bergeron didn’t get it. LOL! Guess he wasn’t watching the package. Len loved the hip action, but told him to work on the footwork, but best dance so far. Hmmm…that’s the only dance we’ve seen, Len. Bruno said Mario’s hips should be sensored tonight. Bruno said it was classic and he loved it. Carrie Ann’s hair looks pretty nice and she said she wasn’t distracted by his “look” and said his spirit was soooo smooth. Yep, yep! Backstage all I could look at was Karina’s black body - yes BLACK! She has so much spray tan on that she matches Mario.  Is she trying to go black tonight? Anyways, the scores are all 9’s for a total of 27 out of 30.

Dancing the Rumba next is Priscilla Presley and Louis Van Amstel. We go back to last week when they did the dreaded lift. Priscilla’s challenge is the walk and she comments on Louis teachings which is disciplined. That is quite funny because she always tries to be perfect and disciplined. We see them butt heads this week. The love fest doesn’t always last. Priscilla said it is time for a comeback - let’s see if they do indeed come back and make this sexy and hot. She walks a bit and it seemed a bit stiff. They do a nice trick at the beginning when the singers started where she did the splits and then came up grabbing Louis’ face all sexy like. Oh and I have to mention that her hair is down tonight so we’ll see if she tries to keep it out of her face. My Mom is probably having a field day watching for that. LOL! She looked a little wobbly and stiff.  All I know is this dance was way to slow and not enough hip action although I did like their passion for each other. They’ve got great chemistry.

Bruno said she’s sensual and not trashy, but the problem is the Rumba exposes the flaws and they pushed too far technically this week. Carrie Ann said she was in her mind too much this week. Len was disappointed and it was too careful. Carrie Ann thought Len was too harsh. Louis and Priscilla are giggling because Bruno and Carrie Ann are gaining up on Len.  The dancers and celebs are backstage clapping and Cristian is on his feet cheering them on. Priscilla said she was so in the moment that the turn came on her too quickly. I didn’t notice a missed turn, but she did get 3 7’s for a total of 21 out 30. She was relieved thinking they were going to be much lower.

Marissa Jaret Winokur and Tony Dovolani are dancing the Samba. Tony said it is like a carnival. Should match her personality for sure. She is wearing this HUGE headress with feathers to get in the Samba spirit and she is seen wearing it at home and at practice. LOL! She starts off by really shaking it and I must say she is really light on her feet and can really shake what God gave her. I REALLY liked this dance. It was awesome. I was on the edge of my seat watching it and loved EVERY moment of it. It was excellent. They did excellent and the crowd agrees with me. I would have normally been annoyed at the music because it was the same phrase about shaking a tambourine over and over again, but the dance held my attention  - LOVED IT!

Carrie Ann said her head is spinning. She loved it and said it was their best by far. At the beginning it was just a little bit off, but so far the best performance they’ve done. Len loved the mix of steps and said more bounce to the ounce, but she needed to work her hips more so rather than the shoulders, but really good. Bruno loved it and said there was no stopping her once she got into it.  Looks like Priscilla is going downhill and Marissa is rising up.  Let’s see if the judges agree when they reveal their scores. She received 3 8’s for a total of 24 out of 30. The audience booed a little bit because they expected higher.

Cristian de la Fuente and Cheryl Burke have the Rumba this week. Let’s see if they can create some hot passion between them - I want to see the love between the two.  Cheryl asks Cristian why he looks so feminine - LOL! Cheryl says it is hard to do the romance because they are like brother and sister - she says this with every partner (she probably didn’t say that about Wayne Newton who is more like her Papa). They do this little movie bit where he speaks spanish and all she knows how to say is “Si”. It was kind of cute and funny, but expected for sure.

They dance to Daniel Bedingfield’s “If you’re not the one”. I really like their outfits - gorgeous colors. Hmmm…I am not liking the Rumba too much for anyone. It is just too slow. It was ok - nothing special to me. They ended really close at the end and Tom said “that didn’t look like brother and sister.” Len said he wasn’t blown away, but it wasn’t gruesome to watch. My sentiments exactly - he called it competent. Bruno said the chemistry was great saying they could go in any bedroom for sure. Bruno said he needed to caress the floor where he rubs on Len and Len told him not to - LOL! Carrie Ann said she didn’t think the chemistry was there and it wasn’t erotic as she thought it should be. Carrie Ann said to work on sustaining between the movements. Whatev’ that means, Carrie Ann. His scores were 2 8’s and a 7 from Carrie Ann for a total of 23 out of 30.

Marlee Matlin and Fabian Sanchez dance the Samba this week. They are on a plane to Mexico to fit children in need with hearing aids. Not much practicing going on, but we do get to see children start to hear again - miracles!! We are back in practice and this is all about rhythm which could pose problems for Marlee. Fabian gets stressed out and frustrated so we’ll see if they can pull it together tonight. Her turns are really nice, but I see some mess ups here and there - some weird tricks towards the beginning. She does a flip over Fabian which was cool. Her arms were a sloppy and her hips a little stiff. Someone should have spent less time in Mexico and more time practicing in my opinion although the crowd was on their feet. Hmm..not me.

Bruno said Marlee was very hot and sexy in the Samba. He mentioned lost timing and stumbles, but called her an inspiration. Carrie Ann mentioned her slips and stumbles, but said she was a trooper because she could have given up, but was a fighter. Len mentioned her confidence stating the Samba was the most difficult latin dances. He said something about her not hearing the music and he thinks she’s done a great job. Marlee goes backstage and waves off the cheering from her teammates or competitors as I call it. Her scores were 2 7’s and an 8 from Bruno. An 8 for stumbles? I think that was a pity 8, but only my opinion. Her total was 22 out of 30.

Kristi Yamaguch decked out in violet and Mark Ballas also in violet (I think they look marvelous) dance the Rumba. Mark tells her it is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire. Kristi says it is difficult because she is a married mom and is dancing with this hot thing. LOL! I knew this might prove difficult because of her lack of expression and passion. Kristi wanted to get into another persona - Kristian and Markucio. They try to get sexy and here comes her hubby and daughters to suprise her. Kill the sexy times right here folks. Her daughters are sooo cute! Her hubby is lovin’ it saying he is drawing something out of her that he hasn’t seen yet. LOL!

They dance to Say by John Mayer. Mark pulls the clip out of her hair and it flows loosely - lovely. They dance and it was lovely, but I didn’t see as MUCH passion as I would have liked although I still liked it. I felt she came out more so than she ever has. Carrie Ann said she took a risk because she really came out this week with emotion, but the technical was sacrificed a little. Len said three words FAB U LOUS! Bruno said she is Kristi Yummylicious tonight. Bruno said it was stupendous. I liked it, but not as much as the judges. Hmmm..I smell some 10’s.  She received a 9 from Carrie Ann and 2 10’s for a total of 29 out of 30.

As we come back from commercial we see Mel B. sitting in the audience. Guess she can’t get enough - what happened to the Spice Girl tour? Tom now said Derek was taken to the hospital with food poisoning - he holds a puke bucket stating he hopes he will be ok on live TV. What else is Derek gonna go through? - first the neck now food poisoning. Anyways, we are watching Shannon practice the Samba and she looks REALLY stiff stating she hates this dance. They’ve gotten close - as friends says Shannon - she is seen massaging his neck and back. She mentions looking into his eyes and its nice to know they have each others back. She looks hot and sexy - she has glitter on her long legs. She reminds me of Stacy Keibler with those legs. She has major hair extensions in this week - lots o’ hair.  Her turns are much better tonight and so was her posture and lines. I just wasn’t impressed with the hips, but I still liked it. She props herself up on Tom and is wayyy out of breath…again!

Len said it wasn’t good enough and no hip action. Bruno said she messed up the timing quite a few times and thought it was too hard for her to sell. Carrie Ann said she was ambitious and she was so unafraid whether she looked awkward or not. Her scores were 2 8’s and 1 7 from Bruno. Um, Bruno, someone who messed up and faltered gets an 8 out of you and you give someone who looked a bit awkward and didn’t falter a 7? I don’t get it. Her total score was 23 out of 30. Not good!

Jason Taylor and Edyta Sliwinska dance the Rumba and I must say they look hot together tonight. Ahhh! Too hot for their own good. She is doing these moves where she sticks her legs high up in the air and on his shoulder and his face is priceless - he secretly loves it though. She looks like she has lingere on all lacey. He has these beige pants on that I love when male dancers wear it especially Maks. I also must say he is wearing heels too..hehe. I only mention it because he was joking about them before. He has nice lines for sure, but it was lacking something. It was sexy, but lacking something - not sure what, but I wasn’t blown away by it. He is hot though and Len was smiling throughout.

Bruno said he had the look of a love God and wonders how he can be so big and light at the same time. Bruno said it was incredible. Carrie Ann said the chemistry was insane and she looks hot and bothered by it - LOL! She told them to be careful when his arms are down. Len liked his naturallness - like a bloke aka man - Len doesn’t like the poses (referring to Edyta’s leg up in the air). He mentioned the poses last season too because he told her to stop sticking her leg up in the air like that all the time. LOL! As Samantha interviews him I could have sworn it was Marissa’s face on the side of the screen especially with the way she was acting (all nuts like)..kinda funny. Anyways, his scores were 27 out of 30.

Here’s the Leaderboard for Week 5
Kristi Yamaguchi and Mark Ballas 29 out of 30
Mario and Karina Smirnoff 27 out of 30
Jason Taylor and Edyta Sliwinska 27 out of 30
Marissa Jaret Winokur and Tony Dovolani 24 out of 30
Cristian de la Fuente and Cheryl Burke 23 out of 30
Marlee Matlin and Fabian Sanchez 23 out of 30
Priscilla Presley and Louis Van Amstel 21 out of 30

Believe it or not, my favorite was Marissa Jaret Winokur and Tony Dovolani. My least favorite was Priscilla Presley and Louis Van Amstel. They could be in trouble this week again.